A Blog by Jonathan Low

  

Jan 26, 2020

The 'Most Silicon Valley Job Posting' Goes Viral For Its Pretentiousness

Catching the zeitgeist. Nanny wanted: Advanced skill in math and facility with vegan recipes essential...JL

Matt Charnock reports in SF-ist:

Are you something of a self-knighted travel agent, one who’s also gifted at long division? Do you possess buckets of athleticism? Can you both bake and ice a (vegan) cake with ease? If you've nodded to all the above, then this Menlo Park-based nanny gig might just be right for you. "Assist 10-year old’s with homework in long division, subtraction and writing. Play math games. Conduct research into vegan recipes and make modifications to regular recipes. Learn about alternatives to milk and butter." The mother is a CEO who needs to relax on weekends and pass along her offspring to someone else.
Are you something of a self-knighted travel agent, one who’s also particularly gifted at long division? Do you, too, possess buckets of athleticism? Can you both bake and ice a (vegan) cake with ease? If you've nodded to all the above, then this Menlo Park-based nanny gig might just be right for you.
SFGate reported on an almost unbelievable job posting on Google's job search platform (via The Calendar Group) yesterday, calling it the "most ridiculous, most Silicon Valley job listing." The droning request, still online, is for a "manager/cook/nanny" in Menlo Park, boasting an hourly rate of around $40.
By the looks of it, neither Marry Poppins nor Supernanny themselves would be fit for the role. To spare you from reading 1,000-word posting in all its eye-rolling tedium, here are a few golden nuggets:
"Assist 10-year old’s with light homework in long division, subtraction and writing. Play math games with them."
"Conduct research into domestic and global vacation options based on criteria, populate information into a simple Excel spreadsheet, recommend and book vacations, track vacation expenses in Excel including track vacation home deposits getting returned."
"Track and administer allowance, clothing budgets, household expenses, etc."
"Conduct research into vegan recipes and make modifications to regular recipes. Able to learn about using alternatives to milk and butter."
"Can throw balls and play simple basketball, volleyball, soccer, and football with 10-year old’s (learn if not already familiar). Can do calisthenics with kids (sit-ups, lunges, squats, pushups) and generally play and rough house with kids."
"Lead, supervise and support members of the household staff who have varying degrees of education, experience, and maturity."
"[The nanny must have] room in [their] heart to love the kids and the mom; has a high capacity to be loved deeply by them."
The last request leaves us with an unshakable amount of Stockholm syndrome. Per the posting, the mother is also a CEO and needs to relax on weekends — and, by the sound of it, pass along her offspring to someone else.
(Spoiler alert: The author of the viral posting recently spoke with Ruth Graham of Slate regarding her request — a job listing The Guardian questioned as to whether or not it was “the most demanding ad for a nanny ever.” "Our society is broken," the unnamed mother says. "Here it is January, and I’m having to spend hours of my time, like late at night, trying to figure out summer camp and get them signed up for sports and all that." She's also a single parent, who, rightly so, believes that if her domicile was a two-parent household, there might not be a need for such an all-encompassing nanny.)
As expected, Twitter had (and has been having) a heyday over it. Read some of our favorite commentaries and insights, below.


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