Evidence That All Anyone Really Wants Is An App That Reaffirms Their Existence

Because if your phone won't occasionally praise you, who will? JL

Lily Newman reports in Slate:

"Beeps" is an app that periodically sends a notification to make your phone beep or vibrate. When you look at your phone, Beeps tells you "Good job." That's it. It isn't synced to any kind of fitness app, and it's not tracking anything that you do. The beeps are just totally arbitrary. Maybe "Beeps" is what social networks would be if we cut out the formalities of actually interacting.

New apps crop up every day and they all promise to improve our lives in one way or another. But we don't actually use a lot of them in our daily lives. The best, most popular, and most practical ones float to the top and we just use those over and over. The Upright Citizens Brigade has an app idea, though, and it's the perfect distillation of what we all really want.

"Beeps" is an app that periodically sends a notification to make your phone beep or vibrate. When you look at your phone, Beeps tells you "Good job." That's it. You don't know when the beeps are going to come. "It could be once a month, it could be six or seven times a day. It's not based on anything!" the promo video explains.

 

"It's great," says one satisfied user in a testimonial. "I like that it doesn't just tell you good job. It also makes the beep sound and sometimes it lights up, too. I like that!"

Every startup needs a pair of charismatic (male) founders, and Beeps is no exception. Founder Chet Frohnson explains his vision: "We have these devices in the palms of our hands that at any moment could beep and tell us 'good job.' I really feel like we're changing the world."

Beeps is even a good choice from a privacy and digital security standpoint because it "isn't synced to any kind of fitness app, and it's not tracking anything that you do." The beeps are just totally arbitrary, and it's awesome.

Unfortunately, Beeps is not of this world, but the sketch is a spot-on look at startup culture, digital trends, and the affirmation we seek from our digital devices. Maybe "Beeps" is what social networks would be if we cut out the formalities of actually interacting.